I Discover A New Diet: The Pinterest Diet
Okay, I’ve been sitting here, this Sunday morning, completely obsessed with making Pinterest Boards on my Pinterest page! Literally, I’ve been sitting here, hypnotized for hours, pinning images of, what I think are “very important things.” Well, “very interesting things.”
As a result, I’VE MISSED TWO MEALS! Yep, you heard me correctly, I have not eaten a bite of food today and it’s 1:16 pm Mountain Standard Time on March 25, 2012. I’m barely hydrated, as well.
So, my theory is, if I missed two meals a day, due to obsessively pinning random images to Pinterest, I will have at least a 1000 calorie deficit a day! According to a very cursory Google search, this means I’ll most likely lose 2-4 pounds a week, or die of malnutrition, whichever comes first.
Where Have I Been?
If I’d known about Pinterest earlier, I could be a svelte size 6 by now! For crying out loud, the site’s been around since 2010. In Internet Time, that’s like, a hundred years. Look at this lady, Jane Wang, she has 102 boards and has pinned 14870 images. She probably hasn’t eaten since early 2011. She must be tiny!
Pinterest Diet Tip # 1
Don’t pin about food. This morning I was thinking about how, when I tell a person about a book I like, they often have never heard of it. So that got me to looking up all my favorite books it seems no one I know has read, except me. You’ll notice there are no books about food or cooking. I was so busy pinning, I didn’t even have one food thought in 5 hours.
Pinterest Diet Tip #2
Pin about your kids. I got to thinking that I should have a Pinterest board about my daughter’s accomplishments. So I fanatically found every image for all the film and TV she’s done. I ended up with a subscription to IMdB, and probably burned another 100 calories.
Pinterest Diet Tip # 3
Pin about your last name. Pinning about my daughter got me thinking about our last name. I didn’t know there was a McCormick Irish Cream. I now need to do an extensive genealogical search, to see if I’m the long lost heir to the McCormick Spice Empire. Calories burned, maybe 200.
Pinterest Diet Tip # 4
Pin about whatever your last name makes you think about. Thinking about McCormicks, got me thinking about being partially, genetically Irish. So, I added to the board I started on St. Patrick’s day. One could make several “cultural heritage” boards. If you’re American, you probably claim many ancestors from various lands. I still could make boards for my Welsh, Scot, British, Swiss and German gene pools as well.
Pinterst Diet Tip # 5
Get random. Just make a board (or several) about random topics that pop into your head. That’s how I got all obsessed with making a “Skunk Board.” Then there was the random Alice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass board I made.
Clearly by now, in my famished, fasting state of mind, I was drawn to the very trippy images of Lewis Carrol’s opium influenced world behind the looking glass (Okay, I don’t know if he was opium influenced, but the Caterpillar was smoking a hookah. Just sayin’).
Pinterest Diet Warning
As with any new diet, consult with your physician before starting this regimen. You might also want to consult with a good copyright attorney. I truly believe that social media sites like Pinterest and Facebook will be the end of civilization. But at least we’ll be really skinny.
So follow me over at Pinterest. My user name is memmcormick. Maybe I’ll make a Pinterest Diet before and after board!